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summertime =p ...with you. |
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| ever feel like you aren't good enough? it's not just a feeling but it is actually how you are. i can not seem to please people nowadays.. not even myself.. disappointment is the main topic. even writing this is pretty disappointing. it is quite sad actually. it is because my grammar isn't proper and literate enough.. especially when it comes to english class. but that is beside the point. there are just too many pressures nowadays. my feelings of discontent and disappointment grows. though no one really cares. it's like talking to a blank wall.. my mind is going crazy. i have no direction. everything is such a clatter. i don't even have a clue what i'm going to do for the rest of my life. " there's a lot of opportunities and options for you", they would say. but just means that there would be lots of decisions and undecided paths. i dont know anymore. why do i even bother. i feel sorry for myself. why did i go into this point? thanks to all the people who have comforted and believed in me. but i'm sorry to say.. i am just another disappointment. |
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| january 28, 2006
how can i be so blind and confusing at the same time!? what do i really want? why did i go in that direction? i see myself lost. yet stuck in one place. and at this point, all i can do is to focus on other things, and leave it at that. once again.. it's my fault.. why did i have to risk it all? "we're just friends." that's what we tell ourselves. a lie that deceives the true emotion we hide. i admit that i had doubts, fears and everything else that would risk it all. losing you again, or just the fact of losing someone who played an important part in my life. someone, who, even though i can't figure out at times, would still be there for me and know exactly what i want and what i need. no matter how stubborn i get. but how would that work now? the conversations we've had, were always a treasure, laughable, and silly; yet we know that it meant something just because we were talking to each other. and out of the blue you said "ikaw lang cgoro ung babae WHO knows me really really well". it so touching, yet it trembles my soul for i think you found out the disturbing truth. but there is still a secret left uncovered. and i hope and pray, that you would still stay and find it... |
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| Christmas Wish List.
- black winter jacket by esprit
- silky black cotton tank top by smart set
- 4.5 inch silky black stilettos
- racer back tank top by esprit with stripes
- purse for formal gatherings
- scarfs =D
- tan and black shorts for skirts
- one black and one white turtleneck
- lotion by V.s.
jeans and black pants that actually fit .. hahahah
- grey sweats by nike
- nike running shoes
- gap winter snowflake patterned pajamas
- little cross necklace with few diamonds =D ***
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Angel
Spend all your time waiting
for that second chance
for a break that would make it okay
there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees
in the arms of an angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here
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